Monica Quimby Wondered Who Would Love Her Now

Editor’s Note: A beautiful, athletic, spunky, full-of-life Monica Quimby wondered, “Who’s going to love a woman in a wheelchair?” after she learned she was paralyzed, but the answer was quick in coming.  Part 2 of a four-part series.

Question: Monica, how did you answer your fear of, “Who’s going to love a young woman in a wheelchair?

Quimby: Actually, I’ve had a better and more genuine love life after the accident than I had before the accident. I met some of the best people. I had amazing experiences and dated both disabled and able-bodied men. I really learned a lot about relationships.

Question: Monica, did you think about how you looked in a wheelchair, since you’d always been athletic and had a very-strong body before the accident?

Quimby: I know for most young women the thought of, “How am I going to look in a wheelchair,” can be a real struggle. But you know, when I look in a mirror, I don’t see myself in a wheelchair. I just feel like I’m sitting down and really short. I’ve never selected clothes thinking how they’ll look in a wheelchair. I’ve never gone on a date and thought, “Is my date really going to see me or my wheelchair?” I decided that my dates would have no choice. They were going to meet me before they met my wheelchair.”

Question: Tell us about the process of overcoming the fear of, “Who’s going to love me?”

Quimby: I was in rehab for 3 months. I learned I could walk very-small distances with long leg braces and a walker, but I decided that walking that way wasn’t really practical. The first person I dated was a guy in a wheelchair. Although I had a boyfriend before the accident, we weren’t really more than just friends. I decided I needed to learn about myself before I started considering a real relationship with anyone.

Monica and Jared cruising along on vacation

Monica and Jared cruising along on vacation

Question: What was going on a date in a wheelchair like the first time?

Quimby: I was just myself, and my date and I had a good time. We talked about things we had in common and everything else. I learned we could be 100% honest with each other. He was a great first transition date after my accident.

Question: How were your experiences of dating people who are not in wheelchairs?

Quimby: Right now, I’m dating my boyfriend Jared, who’s not in a wheelchair, and oh my gosh, he’s fantastic. I’ve learned that whether or not someone I’m dating is in a wheelchair or not doesn’t matter. What matters is the way he treats me, and if he’s a hard worker and willing to help me out. The first quality I look for in a guy is whether he can take care of himself. The second thing is what kind of personality does he have. Those are the two qualities that attract me to a guy.

Question: What was your first date like with Jared?

Quimby: We had a really fun date. We went to play Trivia with his friends, so the date was more or less a kind of group date. We had a dinner date before we went to play Trivia. I thought it was a big deal to meet Jared’s friends on our first date. I’ve learned that being confident in who I am and being outgoing means that people don’t put me in a box and label me as something I’m not.

Next: Monica Quimby Tells Why She Doesn’t See Herself in a Wheelchair

About the Author: For the last 12 years, John E. Phillips of Vestavia, Alabama, has been a professional blogger for major companies, corporations and tourism associations throughout the nation. During his 24 years as Outdoor Editor for “The Birmingham Post-Herald” newspaper, he published more than 7,000 newspaper columns and sold more than 100,000 of his photos to newspapers, magazines and internet sites. He also hosted a radio show that was syndicated at 27 radio stations; created, wrote and sold a syndicated newspaper column that ran in 38 newspapers for more than a decade; and wrote and sold more than 30 books. Learn more at http://www.nighthawkpublications.com

 

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4 Responses to Monica Quimby Wondered Who Would Love Her Now

  1. Pingback: Monica Quimby Says She Felt Like She Was Flying « UroMed Catheter Health Blog

  2. Pingback: What kinds of careers are there involving current events? | Dating

  3. Bobbbi says:

    Me too. BUT I am 63, divorced for 10 yrs. I met a man through thr singles group I started a church (I said I will meet someone at church) he is from another church but a Christian just the same. He has a friend who also has MS and he goes to see him on occasion. He will carry me to the pool (to save time!) or lift my leg going up a stair. He will come to the house and grill, after clean up including dishes. We went on his boat one day and I really had to use the BR I tried but the cath would not go in due to the heat, I was in misery and couldn’t tell him why I couldn’t use the Gulf to pee in (too new in the relationship) after tat day I thought this is over he can’t be bothered with me but called the next day left me a message stating how brave I was to even go out in the heat and needing so badly to use a bathroom. Now we can laugh at it but through all that I would say he is a keeper, only hope it continues. Time will tell and God knows the desires of my heart.

  4. Pingback: Monica Quimby Says She Felt Like She Was Flying

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